Thursday, March 23

Lacking Faith

Why do I feel like we're getting kicked while we're already down? I was telling Sammy this evening that I know in my heart that God will take care of us, but for some reason or another, I CANNOT convince myself to stop worrying and let Him take over.

We experienced flood damage with the most recent rains, which quickly turned to sewage damage. (Thank you very much, city of Richardson!) The flat tire we had on the way home from Belton blew out again last night while we were running errands. (Thankfully, Firestone replaced it at no cost to us. But, it was still a huge pain!) The Kiwi carpet cleaners that have been visiting us regularly since Monday told us we would need 2 additional dehumidifiers in our home to dry the cement underneath the damaged carpet quicker. (We already have 3 that have been running nonstop since Tuesday morning.) So, they brought in the 2 large machines today, plugged one in & blew a fuse. They tried plugging it in 2 more times & the same thing happened each time. Scratch that plan. We'll just all dehumidify for longer! Tomorrow, they are ripping up the carpet in our bedroom & hallway. Today, they tested the baseboards for a humidity reading & they all read at 100%. So, they will also be taking out the baseboards & testing underneath those. I'm almost positive the wall beneath will be ruined, as well.

Meanwhile, the city of Richardson has told us to go ahead & either get the work done (taking a chance that they might pay for it) or just get estimates and turn those in to the Claims Department. But, this is not something that we can just get an estimate for & wait to see if they will pay for the work... so, we pretty much have to get it done & pray that it will be covered. I'm so frustrated & worried & tired & irritated & just generally ticked off that this is happening. Sammy really tries to help me see the positive side of things (we still have a house, we are healthy, our kids are happy, we have good jobs), but I think I'm experiencing an enormous lack of faith. I want answers & I want them now! I want things done & I want them done now! I don't want to wait for God's timing. I'm not that patient.

However, as I said earlier, I honestly do know that God will take care of us. I know that His ways are better than mine and that it won't do me any good to worry about the future. Why can't I convince myself of this, then, when things get rough?